Love Before Logic
by Tashi110
Summary: Jane is struggling with a case and as always Maura is there but she will no longer remain in the background, she wants more. She will make sure that Jane knows what she wants, even though the consequences may be steep.
1. Chapter 1

Jane came home restless and in need of a cold beer. This case was really getting to her; double homicide. They were just kids. And kids make it harder. Jane couldn't stop thinking about the poor families that were left to pick up the pieces, the families that were desperately waiting for her to find the monster that did this to their babies. But she was stuck. She had no leads, the evidence pointed her in all sorts of directions and Jane felt lost and alone. As she stomped into her apartment, shoulders slouched, face drawn, she walked over to the fridge, grabbed a beer and made her way over to the couch. Joe-Friday came and placed herself onto Jane's lap and Jane rested her head back, took a long sip of her beer and shut her eyes.

_She was in a room. Maura's room. Why was she here? She is laying in Maura's bed, Maura beside her. Maura looks beautiful. This night… The night that Hoyt escaped and Jane went to the safety of her best friend. But this is not what happened. Jane shoots up in fright. Maura comforts her and reassures her that it is only Bass in the kitchen. She places her arm on Jane and coerces her back onto the bed. But Maura's hand does not leave Jane's._

"_Jane."_

"_Yeah…"_

"_I…. Something has happened…"_

"_Maura what is it? You're scaring me."_

"_Jane I…. Can't…."_

"_Maura please tell me what's going on. Whatever it is I will help you, we can get through it together."_

_Maura's hand gently squeezes Jane's and then Maura leans over and gently places her lips upon the woman beside her. Their lips meet and they both sink into the pleasure of each other. Jane pulls Maura on top of her and kisses her best friend harder. Maura moans and grinds her centre over Jane's, making Jane pull her closer and letting out a deep moan of satisfaction. Maura slows and pulls away, keeping her face close to Jane's. They remain still, simply looking into each other's eyes, marvelling at what they have here. _

"_Jane, I love you."_

_Jane is taken aback by Maura's statement. Her brow crinkles for a moment. But then her heart takes over her head and she pulls Maura in for a kiss on the cheek, she moves her lips over to her ear and whispers "I love you too Maur."_

"Holy shit!"

Jane sits up in surprise on the couch and looks around, finding herself feeling disappointed when she realises that this is her apartment, not Maura's home, and this is her couch and not Maura's bed.

"What the hell was that Rizzoli?"

She slowly stands up, wipes the dribble from her mouth and notices that she has spilled some beer onto the floor. She wipes it up and makes her way to her bedroom. Stripping off her clothes and deciding to wear her bra and panties to bed, Jane crawls under the covers, secretly hoping that her dream will being from where it left off.

But it didn't. Jane awakes to the sound of her alarm, quietly swears to herself and moves across her bed to switch off the incessant buzzing. She sits herself up and pulls the cover off her. Her dream comes back to the front of her mind and she cannot stop herself from letting out a small smile.

Joe-Friday finds her way into the room and coaxes Jane out of bed. Jane prepares breakfast for Joe and then makes herself a cup of coffee.

There is a knock at the door. Jane knows that knock. A key inserts into the lock and the door swings open. Jane feels warmth spread through her when her eyes fall on the honey-blonde and her insatiable blue-green eyes. Maura simply stands at the door, looking at Jane, who has forgotten her attire simply consist of a bra and panties. Jane smiles and motions for Maura to come in, unable to speak as her mouth is full of coffee.

"Good morning Jane" Maura says with the brightest smile Jane has ever seen. "Is someone here? I can get to work on my own if you want to be left alone…"

"Maura what the hell are you talking about?"

Maura's eyes trail up and down Jane's slender figure, attempting to alert Jane to her choice of clothing for the morning.

Jane watches Maura's eyes look her up and down and she cannot help but follow them, leading to her mouth, a light shade of red lipstick covering her lips. Jane notices as Maura unconsciously licks her lips while her eyes move over her abs.

Then she remembers. No pyjamas, only panties and bra.

_Shit Rizzoli!_

"OH! You mean this… Well um yeah… Don't worry Maur no one is here, I just couldn't be bothered getting changed last night when I got home. This case is really getting to me Maur. I'll go and get changed."

And a little too quickly and desperately Maura says "No Jane don't. Don't get changed, its fine. It's just me. Finish your coffee and then we can talk about the case for a little while before we go to work. Is that ok?"

"Yeah sure Maura. Hey can I ask you something?"

"You just did."

Maura lets out a cheeky smile when Jane's expression turns to one of annoyance.

"Of course you cane Jane, what is it?"

"What exactly are dreams?"

"How do you mean, Jane?"

"Well, why do we have them, what are they for?"

"Oh. Well dreams can be different things for different people. Often it is the brains way of processing the events of the day, attempting to understand why things happened and what it means. That is why sufferers of PTSD often have a recurring dream relating to their trauma as their mind cannot process or deal with the events that have taken place…. "

Maura notices Jane's face harden and her hands holding the counter-top more tightly.

"Oh Jane, oh I'm so sorry. I didn't mean anything by using PTSD as an example, it just came to me."

"No it's fine Maur. It's ok. Keep going."

"Ok, um. Sometimes dreams are a projection of what we crave in our lives that perhaps we do not have or have lost, another way that the mind deals with the attempt to understand."

"Ok then. Thanks Maur. I'm just gonna go and get changed and then we can go."

Jane turns to leave but is stopped in her tracks by Maura's voice.

"Jane."

Jane turns around slowly, suddenly feeling very naked in front of her best friend.

"Jane, why did you ask me that? Is everything ok? You seem a little… off."

Jane is stuck for a moment. She doesn't know what to do. She has this wonderfully beautiful woman sitting in front of her asking her to open herself up and let her in, but she can't. She can't tell Maura the truth, it would ruin everything. Maura likes men and it's her _best friend _for crying out loud. No, she can't tell her.

"Yeah I'm fine Maur. It's just Ma was telling me that she had been having some strange dreams lately so I was just wondering. And this case is just really frustrating me, I just keep thinking about the kids and their families. I have to help them Maur but I just…."

And without knowing it Jane has let Maura in more than she will ever know. Maura stands and makes her way over to Jane. She takes Jane's hands in her own and looks into her best friends eyes.

"Jane. You are an amazing detective and an even more amazing woman. There has never been a case that you could not crack or a monster that you could not put to justice. They have all fallen Jane and that was because of you. Because you never gave up and because you remained strong and determined. Because you are strong and determined. You have never given up on me Jane, even when I gave up on myself and everyone around me, there was always you. And now I will do the same, I will not give up on you Jane Rizzoli, I will be your reminder that life isn't fair and bad things happen, and we're here, all of us, to remind everybody that sometimes, the good guys still win."

Maura smiles and kisses Jane on the cheek.

Jane closes her eyes, allowing a single tear to fall. She steps back from Maua's kiss and makes her way to get ready to go in to work.


	2. Chapter 2

Jane and Maura walk in to the BPD together and head straight for the elevator. Maura notices that Jane has a fearful look in her eyes and she knows that Jane is afraid of all of the 'what if's' that are running through her mind.

_What if I can't find the man who did this?_

_What if I have to face her parents and tell them that I couldn't get him?_

_What if I can't find the missing child?_

_What if I just can't?_

"Jane."

"Hmm?"

"Come down to the morgue with me first before you go up ok?"

"Yeah sure Maur, everything ok?"

"Yes it's fine."

Maura and Jane step out of the elevator and Maura guides Jane into her office. She closes the door and pulls down the blinds. Jane is too preoccupied with her own thoughts to notice this but eventfully she lifts her head and has a confused look on her face. Maura sits beside Jane and looks into her eyes for a moment, remaining silent, just staring into the deep brown eyes of her best friend. Maura takes Jane's hands in her own and begins to speak, her thumbs gently caressing Jane's scars.

"Jane I know that something is bothering you and I know that part of it is this case and that it is because you are scared of what might happen. But I don't know what else is bothering you but I just want you to know that whatever it is, I am here for you if you need me. I'll always be here for you if you need me Jane."

"Thanks Maur." Jane smiles and looks up at the beautiful honey-blonde sitting opposite her. Her hands gently squeeze Maura's and her eyes devour every inch of her wonderful smile and her beautiful face. This moment fills Jane completely and it somehow manages to make her forget about everything that is going on around her. She forgets about her Homicide/Missing Persons case and she forgets that she has to go up stairs and face the cruel world. But she doesn't forget Maura, and she doesn't forget her dream and she cannot help but let all of these unknown feelings rush through her veins. And she feels a lump begin to form in her throat and tears make their way to her eyes. She drops her head and fights to keep the tears back, doing all she can to remain strong and calm.

Maura moves forward and wraps her arms around Jane. Jane completely let's go and totally melts into her best friend. She allows herself to be encompassed by the wonderful woman who she loves with every fibre of her being and she lets herself hold Maura too. She buries her face into the nape of Maura's neck and stays there a moment, just allowing herself to reach a good place so that she can make it through the day.

"Are you going to be ok Jane?"

"Yeah, now I will. Thanks Maur. I'll call you later."

"Ok Jane, come down if you need anything."

Jane turns, opens the door and walks over to the elevator. She doesn't look back she simply keeps going and when the doors open she is so thankful that she can escape from the fear of what will happen with her and Maura, but she knows that she will have to walk into the fear of her current case.

There is a small part of Jane that is compelling her to run back to Maura and confess to her all of her unresolved feelings and the dream and all of her hopes and desires. That maybe she will get lucky and Maura will have fallen in love with her too. But Jane knows that that is simply not a possibility, she knows that Maura will never feel this way and that Jane will have to let go. But that is an impossible task for another day, today she has to focus on the missing child that will not leave her mind.

_That's it._

_The particulates found in the shoes!_

_That's the key!_

The particulates pointed to some obscure region that no one but Maura had ever heard of, but what Jane missed was that that particular clay was commercially available. But it was extremely expensive. There couldn't be that many people with that clay in their front lawns. Jane rushes over to her computer after sitting in the break room for almost two hours going over the evidence, trying to find what she missed. She was right. The clay was hard to come by and there were only two people who had purchased large enough quantities of it in the Boston area. She got him.

Jane arrived at the home of a Mr Michael Willis. There was an anger rising in her chest that she was struggling to control. This man had kidnapped and murdered a fifteen year old girl and he probably had his second victim somewhere in this grandiose mansion of his. Jane wanted nothing more than to wring his neck with her cuffs and watch the life drain out of him, but she knew that she would be much more satisfied with him in prison for the rest of his miserable life. She knew what happened to rapists and child murderers in prison.

Jane violently kicked down the door and followed her gun to the back of the house. Quietly she opened the door to the backyard and found exactly what she was looking for. The clay covered the area around the flower beds and made a path to a shed at the back. Jane makes her way over to the shed as Detective Frost comes through the gate in the fence, having walked around the property to make sure that Willis didn't attempt to escape. They walk to the shed, pistols drawn and when Jane hears a subtle whimper she has to stop herself from kicking the door in and shooting the animal.

Jane moves slowly to the door and waits for Frost's 'go' to open it up. Frost gives her a slight nod and she pulls open the door revealing Willis sitting in a garden chair staring at the young girl bound and gagged before him. Startled he stands and turns to the door but Frost is too quick for him and tackled him to the ground before he can make another move. Jane moves to the young girl and gently removes the gag, holding her face and telling her that it will all be ok and that her mum and dad are waiting for her. The girl looks into Jane's eyes, tears filling them, and says "Thank you" and allows herself to completely break down in the Detectives arms.

Back at the BPD Jane watches with joy as the young girl is returned to her parents.

Maura comes up behind her and interlocks her arm with Jane's almost holding her hand but deciding against it. Jane looks down at the unexpected gesture of affection and then looks down at Maura. They both smile at each other and Jane allows herself to be filled with that wonderful sense of joy and contentment that she only finds in the arms of her best friend.

"Jane, let's go and get a drink, I think we both need one."

"I like the way you think Dr."

Inside the Dirty Robber Jane and Maura sit together in their usual booth and Jane orders a beer while Maura orders a red wine. They both just sit there, letting the silence encompass them and revelling in the quiet that their lives have recently denied them.

"You did amazingly today Jane." 

"Thanks Maur, but I couldn't have done any of it without you. Thanks Maura."

"All in a day's work."

Both women look at each other and smile. Jane wants to tell Maura about the dream and about everything, she feels as though she is bursting at the seams, but she decides against it. The day was long and hard and laboured, and she doesn't feel like putting any more on Maura's plate than she already has.

After they finish their drinks, they both go outside and get into a cab. They arrive at Maura's house first and the women say good night to each other, Jane telling Maura that she will pay for the cab and almost forcing the woman to put away her wallet and get out of the car. Maura opens the door and exits, but instead of turning and walking to her front door, she leans into the cab, places her hand on Jane's knee, plants a kiss on her cheek and whispers "See you tomorrow" into Jane's ear.

Jane is stuck and doesn't know what to do. Maura simply lifts herself from the cab, turns with all the confidence in the world and walks to her front door.

_Oh my god, Maura Isles just kissed my cheek and whispered in my ear. Oh my god._

_What the hell just happened?!_

_She must have been drunk..._

_It was the alcohol Rizzoli, don't get too excited_

_We didn't eat and the alcohol went right through her, she only put her hand on your knee to steady herself and it was the alcohol..._

_But Maura only had one glass, and she holds her liquor very well..._


	3. Chapter 3

Jane's phones buzzes at her hip and she doesn't even have to look at it to know that it is Maura, probably texting to update her on the progress of the autopsy or the results of the latest test.

_Jane, _

_I have completed the autopsy and I am currently beginning to finalise my report. I was wondering if perhaps you would like to get a coffee after we are both done here._

_Maura_

For a moment Jane considers going for the coffee but then she remembers last night and the kiss and Maura's whisper into her ear and she suddenly gets very nervous. All she has been able to think about all day was Maura's hand on her knee, the smell of her honey-blonde hair as she leant in to whisper into her ear. And then Jane remembers the dream and all of the feelings that she has been working hard to keep hidden and buried and unnoticed from the world, especially from Maura. So Jane decides to remain safe and simply brushes off Maura's offer with the promise of a rain check.

The day is over, Jane has finished her paperwork and can finally go home with the promise of a relaxing weekend that she can spend on the couch, doing nothing and not having to deal with murderers and monsters. She stands, lifts her jacket off of her chair, places it over her arm, acknowledges her colleagues, wishes them a good weekend, and leaves the office and steps into the elevator. And then suddenly everything stops. She is stuck for a moment, not really sure what to do. Does she go and say goodbye to Maura? Should she? She decides against it and instead simply sends Maura a text message and finishes it with a 'x'.

Jane arrives home, changes from her 'work clothes' into some baggy track pants and a black t-shirt and lays herself on her couch with Jo on her lap. They settle in for a comfortable evening of bad movies and cheap beer.

Eventually they both fall asleep and for a while Jane is able to take refuge in the safety of her slumber until she is jolted awake by a gentle knock at her door. She reaches over and pulls her gun from the drawer and moves to the door, taking a look through the peep hole just in case. Honey-blonde curls fill her vision and she places her weapon on the bench, undoes the lock and opens the door with a smile.

"Maura."

Jane's smile quickly fades when she looks into the tear filled eyes of her best friend. Maura virtually falls into the apartment and into the safety of Jane's arms. Jane wraps herself protectively around Maura, closes the door and leads her inside and onto the couch. Jane simply holds Maura and allows her to finish crying before asking her anything or letting go.

"Maura sweetie, what's wrong? Did something happen?"

"Oh Jane…"

Maura lifts her face off of Jane's shoulder and proceeds to wipe her eyes with the sleeve of her jumper. She sits up and attempts to compose herself.

"Jane. It's Ian."

"Ian?! What happened? Did her hurt you Maur?!"

"No no no. It's fine Jane, nothing like that. I'm not crying because I am upset, I am crying because Ian helped me realize something tonight and I am very afraid of what it means."

"Maura honey, start at the beginning, tell me everything and then we can fix this together."

"OK. Well as you know, Ian drops by very unexpectedly because of his work in Africa. And tonight he dropped in and it was like every other time. I was excited to see him and I had raised endorphin levels and my serotonin and dopamine levels were through the roof. But after Ian and I got to talking and drinking some tea, he began to talk as if this was the last time that he would be coming by. And so I asked him why he was being so trivial and he said that it would be better if I didn't know. So I left it there. Eventually he stood and looked at me in a very new way, like he was seeing me for the first time again. And he pulled a ring from his pocket and asked me to marry him and leave for Africa with him and he said that we could spend the rest of our lives transporting medicine over to all of the places that no one cares about and that our lives together would be an adventure and that he didn't want to leave without me by his side. He said that I was the love of his life and that he could not imagine leaving me behind again, that he had to have me with him."

Jane's heart sinks to the floor and breaks into millions of irretrievable pieces. She looks down at her hands around Maura's, she thinks about all of the things that have happened and that she has begun to feel over the last few days and she fights to hold back the tears.

"Maura I am so happy for you."

"What?"

"What do you mean 'what'?"

"Why would you say that Jane?"

"Because it's true. I am happy for you Maur. I see how happy Ian makes you and I know how much you love helping people and I know that you crave for something more than what you have now. I am just happy that you get the opportunity to do everything you have ever wanted with someone that makes you truly happy. Isn't this what you want?"

"This isnt what I want Jane. This is what I _wanted_. This is what the mid-20s Maura Isles wanted to do with her life. But then things changed and I met new people and I found new interests and what I wanted changed and I became a different person. Which is why I said no."

"What…"

This made Jane's heart leap back up into her throat and made it impossible for her to speak and all she could do was look into Maura's eyes and hope that she had the courage to tell her what heeded to be said.

"Jane I said no to Ian because I realized that…"

Maura trails off and raises her head to look into the deep brown eyes of the woman sitting across from her. She holds her hands tighter and a small smile plays out on her face.

"Maura stop."

"Jane, just let me – "

"No Maura. Just stop and don't say anything else. Please."

"No Jane you listen. You will listen to me because this is important and I have to tell you how I feel."

Jane is taken aback by Maura's assertiveness. She decides to put away her own fears and listen to the woman that she loves.

"Fine Maura, tell me."

"All of these years I have always been excited when Ian comes to visit. And yes that was partially because I was on love with him but now I realize that most of it was just the excitement. It was just exciting because I never knew when he was coming or how long he would stay or what he would bring me. It was just what every little girl dreams about, a man who travels across the world who always comes back to her and loves her and brings her gifts and makes her feel special. And I admit that all of that made me happy for a very long time but then things started to change and I met you Jane. You changed everything for me; you flipped my life upside down. Because now there was a person that I had grown to not only want but _need. _I need you in my life Jane, I need you around because you make me feel loved and you make it safe and I have found a home inside of you that I never found in Constance, nor will I ever find in Hope. You have made me whole Jane and that is something that I never imagined possible. And I have no idea what has happened to me but I feel different and it's wonderful and it is all because of you Jane. I love you. I am in love with you Jane."

Jane is at a loss for words. She has no idea what to say or do or feel. This is everything that she has been hoping for and it has been thrown into her lap so easily, why wouldn't she take the opportunity?

"Jane please say something."

"Maura I….."

And then Jane's head loses control of her body and her heart takes over. Her hands make their way up Maura's arms and she holds her face in her hands, gently caressing her cheeks with her thumbs. She moves closer to the honey-blonde and softly places her lips onto hers, gently at first but then she grows more desperate, needing more of Maura, wanting more of her.

Maura's hands slide up Jane's and they move into the unruly mass of dark curls that Jane has tied back. Maura releases Jane's hair and runs her hands through it.

They both slow down and the kiss becomes gentler but more passionate at the same time. Their tongues explore and their lips tremble out of relief and anticipation. Jane pulls away from Maura's lips and kisses her way down her neck, to her collar bone, gently biting every no often. Jane moves to the centre of Maura's neck and this elicits a moan from the Doctor.

"Oh Jane…"

Jane smiles a devilish smile and raises her head so that she is looking directly into the eyes of the woman that she loves.

"Stay with me tonight Maur. Just sleep with me, in my arms. I want to take this slow and I want you to know how much I love you and how much I need you with me. And I want to show you and tell you all of these things but for now please just stay with me."

Maura stands and takes Jane's hand in her own. Maura guides Jane to the bedroom. They both lie down on the bed, never letting go of one another, and Maura rests her head on Jane's chest and lays her arm across Jane's stomach. Jane brings her arm around Maura and gently plays with her hair. She places a kiss on the honey-blonde's fore head, they both smile into each other and close their eyes, both hoping that this was not a dream.


	4. Chapter 4

Jane awakes in her bed and looks around, taking notice of the woman whose head rests on her chest, eyes closed, breathing clam and deep and a slight, sweet smile on her face. Jane smiles and closes her eyes, taking a moment to think through the events of the previous evening, the words exchanged and secrets revealed. Jane had no idea what had come over her, she had completely let go and let her desires and wants take over her actions. Inhibitions gone and fear completely irrelevant, Jane had almost become a different person in those moments, a person who was selfish and wanting and needing. She had never let go so completely of herself, never let her desires take over and lead her to the things that she so wanted.

Maura stirred in her arms and looked up, gently planting kisses up Jane's neck. Maura takes Jane's hand in hers and moves her fingers to intertwine with Jane's, mesmerised at how wonderfully she fits with Jane, how lovely it is when they are together. Jane simply admires Maura's fingers within hers and she cannot help but allow a small smile to play across her mouth. She places a kiss on Maura's head and holds her close.

Jane's phone buzzes next to them and they both turn to her bedside table, hoping against hope that it didn't mean that this moment has to end. Jane picks up her phone and unlocks it, opening her new text message.

Casey.

The message was from Casey and for a moment Jane felt a flutter in her chest, but she realised that it was only the remnants of Casey living within her. This small, infinitesimal flutter was simply the echo of all of the tears and the heartache that she has suffered because he had strung her along and never truly committed himself to her. This was barely even a feeling when she thought about just how much Maura made her feel, even if it was just the sound of her heels walking towards her. Maura made Jane truly feel, not only her, but she truly felt herself as well.

Jane opened the message and read it to herself.

_Hello Jane, _

_I'm sorry for being so distant lately. I have had so many things to deal with and there have been some major decisions that I have had to make. And believe me when I tell you that I have not made any of them without thinking about you, without considering what you want and what you need from me. Jane I don't feel that what I have to say should be said in any other way than face to face. I really hope that you will accept my offer to meet for dinner or coffee so that I can say what I need to say to you and so that I can tell you how I feel. _

_I want to be better for you Jane. I want you._

_Casey_

Jane locked her phone, placed it face down and turned back to Maura. Maura was sitting up, doing her morning stretches with her eyes closed and concentration on her face. Jane smiled and waited for her to finish before talking to her.

"Do you want some breakfast Maur?"

"Yes please. What are we having?"

Jane smiled and pulled Maura towards her, placing her in her lap, their faces only centimetres away from each other, both of their breaths teasing the other, tempting them to go deeper and be closer.

"I know what I want for breakfast…"

Jane trailed off and moved in to kiss Maura, a soft and gentle kiss, almost inviting her to play along. Maura came back and opened her mouth to Jane's, allowing Jane's tongue to play with her own, both relishing the sensations that the other gave them. Maura's hands once again made their way into Jane's curls and she didn't hesitate in pulling Jane's head back and raising herself above Jane on, standing on her knees, her eyes remaining locked with Jane's her lips staying close. Maura kissed Jane's cheek and slowly moved her lips down her neck, flicking her tongue out and gently biting Jane. Maura kissed her way along Jane's exposed collarbone and then licked her way back up to Jane's mouth. This smooth and sexy display of want elicited a groan from deep within Jane, bringing warmth in between her legs and sending her head spinning. She moved her hands up and into Maura's shirt, slowly moving along her soft skin, taking in every inch of her, memorising the feel of her in Jane's arms. Maura pulls away, smiles slightly and then leans into Jane's ear whispering softly, allowing her lips to touch Jane's ear, allowing the intimacy to remain between them.

"Jane I think maybe we should go and have breakfast and get ready for work. Not that this isn't thoroughly wonderful and that I would rather nothing more than to remain here all day and explore every inch of you, but we both have a lot on our plates. Maybe, if you feel like being risky later, you can come and give me a visit in my office…"

She finished with a suggestive smile and lifted herself off of Jane, walking into the kitchen to try and fine something to eat. Jane took a moment to compose herself and to bring her mind back to reality. She reached over for her phone and decided, against her better judgement, that she would meet Casey. She would meet him today for coffee and nothing more. She needed to hear what he had to say, she needed some kind of closure, something that she could allow to put her mind at rest. Something to let her let go. Not that Maura was not enough to help her let go, but she needed something from Casey that only he could give her because only he can tell her how he feels.

_I will meet you at around 11 at the Dirty Robber. _

_Jane_

She kept it simple in the hope that that was how her conversation with Casey would go, but she doubted it.

She wouldn't tell Maura. She knew that it was wrong and that she should but she didn't want to taint their perfect evening and amazing morning with this, Maura deserved Jane at her full capacity and she was not about to let Casey ruin this for her.

Jane made her way to the kitchen and wrapped her arms around Maura, while she continued to work at what appeared to be toast.

"What are we having?"

"Well seeing as you seem to have almost non-existent food stuffs in your pantry and fridge, all I was able to conjure up was some toast. Also I refuse to drink your instant coffee. But I prepared one for you."

Jane laughed and responded with a simple "thanks Maur".

Jane stands at her bench and Maura sits on the other side, gladly taking in the wondrous woman before her. Maura is nervous, cortisol levels up and before she fires out her next statement she is thankful for the adrenalin that allows her to spur on past her fears of Jane's response.

"Jane I think that we should take some time to talk about all of this. Just so that we are both on the same page, instead of going into something that neither one of us is sure of."

Jane doesn't know what to say. This is the perfect time to tell Maura about Casey, to tell her that she needs closure. To tell her that she is going to go and see Casey later today in order to go and try and find that closure. But she won't tell Maura. She will skirt around it.

"Maura…. I think that I need to take some time on my own. I just really need some time to take all of this in, to process what has happened. I just need to take the time. I know that's probably not what you want to hear but I just want you to know what I'm feeling just so that I don't upset you or confuse you or send you the wrong message. Is that ok…?"

Maura is slightly taken aback and she senses that there I something that Jane is not telling her from the tone of her voice. She doesn't want to press the situation, after all Jane is not her 'girl-friend'. It is not necessarily Maura's place to invade Jane's life at this time. Maura decides to let Jane take her time, in the hope that Jane will find her way back to her, that she will hold on to what they have, that she will not forget that Maura loves her and that she will never let her down.

"That's fine Jane. I understand that this is not exactly what either of us planned on happening between us. And I understand that this is a major step for anyone to take and I know that you need time. But please just know that I am here for you if you need to talk or if you want someone to just listen. I'm always here for you Jane. I think that I'm going to head home and get changed and feed Bass. I will see you at work."

Maura stands up, walks over to Jane and reaches up to place a gentle on her cheek. She takes a moment to look Jane in the eyes, her deep brown eyes, hoping that everything she didn't say to Jane is conveyed through her gaze. Jane looks back at Maura, lets out a small smile and watches the honey-blonde leave her apartment.

As the door closes Jane takes a deep breath and leans on her counter-top. She closes her eyes and tries to take everything in, tries to work through what she has to do today, what she needs and the repercussions of her decisions. She opens her eyes, takes a step back and makes her way over to her bedroom, trying to decide what to do about Casey.

Jane walks into the precinct and walks straight into the elevator, missing Maura's company. She goes up to her desk and begins to finish off some reports, waiting for the time to come when she has to leave and go and meet Casey.

Eyes red and hand aching, Jane finishes her last report and looks at the time.

10:45 am.

That's just enough time to get to the Dirty Robber and have a drink before she meets Casey. She stands, places her jacket over her arm, picks up her phone, and begins to make her way to the elevator.

"Where are you off to?"

"I'm just gonna go and chase up a lead for one of my reports Vince. Did you need me to stay?"

"No it's ok. I'll just use Frost."

Jane steps into her elevator, and takes a moment to close her eyes and concentrate her breathing like Maura is always telling her, trying to calm her mind. She steps out of the elevator, walks towards the door and in the corner of her eye she sees Maura in the café, talking to her mother. She slows her walk and contemplates going to see them. But she decides against it, simply standing there for a moment, watching her mother and Maura laugh with each other, working to remember every detail of this moment.

She steps out to her car, gets in and prays that this is not a mistake and that everything will work out. She pulls out and makes her way to the Dirty Robber.

Jane walks into the bar and is relieved to see that Casey has not arrived yet. She takes a seat at her normal booth and orders a beer. The beer arrives and Jane is thankful for the coolness that helps her to calm her nerves and puts her thoughts into coherence.

Jane looks up and sees Casey walk in. He is not wearing his uniform; he simply has a shirt on and dark jeans. Jane feels that absence of a flutter in her stomach and stands to greet him. Casey smiles and makes his way to Jane. He moves to embrace her and places a kiss on her cheek. Jane does the same out of habit. They sit and Jane waits for Casey to start.

"Jane, I'm sorry for the abruptness of my message and also for being so distant. But there is a very good reason for all of it."

"Ok, that's fine. Just say what you came her to say Casey, whatever it is I'm ready to hear it."

"Jane when I was over in Afghanistan a major opportunity came up. I got offered everything that I have ever wanted. Everything that I have ever worked for was put before me. They offered me the position of General."

"Casey that's fantastic! Congratulations General."

They both laugh at Jane's attempted humour and Jane smiles up at the man that she once held in her heart and cannot help but think of the woman who she shared her bed with the previous night.

"Don't get ahead of yourself. I didn't take it. I turned them down."

"What?!"

"Let me explain. They came to me and they stated their terms and what they wanted and what would be required of me. And the whole time all I could think about was you Jane. I couldn't get you out of my head and all I wanted was to leave that meeting and come back to you. So before they even finished laying everything out in front of me I just stood up and told them that I had decided to leave the army and come back to you. And I walked out and got on the first flight that I could to come back to you Jane. I came back to tell you that I am in love with you and I will not let you go. I know that it has taken me too much time to realise just how important you are to me but I have Jane and now I want you to know. I came back for you Jane and I don't plan on leaving. I want to be with you and I promise you that I will be better. I will be the best man that I can for you Jane because you are more than worth it."

Jane is speechless. She doesn't know what to say. She just looks at Casey and takes a moment to allow everything that he has said to sink in.

"Casey I…. I don't know what to say."

"You don't have to say anything Jane. I just needed to tell you. Please just take some time to think about this. Please."

"I will Casey. I'm sorry but I have to get back to work. Can I just give you a call when I know what I want to do?"

"Of course Jane, take all the time you need. I can wait."

Jane stands and walks out of the Dirty Robber. She by-passes her car instead opting for a long walk to get her thoughts in order.


	5. Chapter 5

**Hey guys,thanks for your reviews. This chapter goes to some dark places, so i hope that i have written them well and given them the respect that they deserve. Thank you for taking the time to read, i hope you enjoy :)**

* * *

Eventually Jane makes her way back to her car and she sits inside it, her thoughts still running wild in her head. She puts her things down in the passenger seat and begins the drive back to work. Jane parks in front of the building and gets out of her car, quickly walking to the elevators with her head down, trying to fight back tears. She tries to understand what came over her, why she felt like she needed to see Casey, why she thought that the meeting would provide her with some closure. She knows what she wants, the same thing that she has wanted for the last four years. She wants to wake up every morning and turn in her bed to see Maura's smile. She wants to say good morning and good night but never goodbye to this wonderful woman who holds every part of her. She wants Maura.

Jane gets into the elevator and goes down to the morgue. She has no idea what she is going to say or do when she sees Maura but all she knows is that she needs to see her. Jane steps out of the elevator and her soul takes a breath when she sees Maura sitting alone in her office. Jane rushes into Maura's office, closes the door behind her and in two strides is embracing the love of her life in her arms. Before Maura can say anything Jane's lips are passionately covering hers, her hands ravaging Maura's body, her heart beat increasing in pace, matching that of the honey-blonde. Jane pulls away from the kiss and her head falls, eyes closed. Maura immediately noticed that there was something wrong.

"Jane?"

"Maura I….."

Jane cannot speak, her body is being taken over by waves of emotion, she is struggling to hold back the tears that have been attacking her eyes since she left the Dirty Robber.

"Jane what's wrong? Calm down, try to breathe, take a seat and tell me what's wrong?"

Maura lifts herself off of her desk where Jane lifted her in the midst of their passion. But Jane stops her and takes both her hands in hers. Maura simply waits, knowing that Jane needs a moment to collect and compose herself.

"Maura I'm so sorry."

Maura's face goes dark and she cannot help but have scenarios run through her mind about what Jane could possibly be referring to.

"Jane please come and sit down and tell me what has happened."

Both women move to the couch, never letting go of each other's hands. Maura sits and Jane sits close to her, eventually leaning her head on Maura's shoulder.

"Maura the text message that I got today was from Casey. He asked me to meet him to talk."

Maura does her very best to remain calm and she never waivers her gaze from Jane's.

"Jane I don't want you to feel like you can't see him. He is a very significant part of your life and I am happy for you to remain friends with him because he is important to you. Please don't feel like I don't trust you because I completely trust you Jane."

"You shouldn't."

At this Maura fights back some tears and continues to remain calm. The woman whom she loves is crying in her arms and she has no idea what has happened or what Jane is thinking. She prepares herself for the worst but secretly in her heart prays for what she wants.

"Jane what are you talking about?"

"Casey wanted to see me because he wanted to try and get me back. I knew what his intentions were and I went anyway. He told me that he left the army because he wanted to come here and be with me. He turned down the position of General to be with me Maura."

"Jane… I… You know how much I love you. And you know that all I want is for you to be happy. For so long I wanted to be the one to make you happy. And after what happened between us I felt that you wanted to be the one to make me happy too. But I want you to know that I am not here to be dragged behind you Jane. I have no intentions of being your romance puppet, nor do I wish to blind-sided by your feelings for Casey. I love you Jane and I know that you know that. You are going to have to make a decision. And I know that this is harsh but you have to make this decision on your own and I can't help you with it."

Jane doesn't need to hear this. She knows what she wants.

Jane says nothing and slowly looks up at Maura. Her face leans in to Maura's lips and she softly kisses the honey-blonde. She gently moves her lips over Maura's her fingers intertwining and making their way over and around Maura's.

Jane pulls away and looks Maura in the eyes. She smiles and just takes a moment to truly take in the magnificence before her.

"Maura I choose you. I will choose you for the rest of my life, I will whose you every day until I have no more days left. And if there is anything after the time we have in this world, then I will choose you then as well. Every time Maura Isles, I will choose you."

Maura allows a single tear to escape and roll down her cheek. All she can do is smile and let herself fill up with all of the love that she feels for Jane. Both women lean in for another gentle kiss that very quickly turns in to a passionate yearning for each other. Maura untucks Jane's button-up shirt from her pants and begins to undo her buttons. Jane moans and moves to sit on top of Maura. She breaks their kiss and moves down Maura's neck.

"Maur, we both have to get back to work", Jane whispers in Maura's ear, allowing her lips to gently rub past and tickle Maura.

"Everyone will still be dead when we're done."

Jane cannot believe Maura's comment. She laughs to herself and moves her lips over Maura's. Maura finishes unbuttoning Jane's shirt and opens it to reveal Jane's wonderful breasts clad in a lacy bra that only enhances Maura's passion. Maura's mouth moves over Jane's chest and she lightly places kisses and flick out her tongue over the tops of Jane's breasts. Both women become faster with their movements, both struggling to contain their want and need of the other.

But everything stops when Jane's phone begins to buzz. Both women exhale in frustration and Jane moves off of Maura and sits beside her on the couch. She reaches for her phone and answers Korsak's call her shirt still unbuttoned and her heart still fluttering.

"Hey Vince."

Maura takes no notice of the call and she begins to trace her finger over Jane's exposed abs, her finger moving along Jane's pants, threatening to move lower to her centre. Maura notices that Jane shivers at her touch and she is trying to cut her chat with Korsak short, her breathing become rushed. Maura moves her lips over Jane's breasts and she licks along her bra, feeling Jane's skin break out into hives at the contact. Jane is struggling to maintain her conversation on the phone because all she can do is watch Maura and all she can concentrate on is every one of Maura's movements. Jane manages to hold out for the conversation and hangs up after she is done with Korsak, hoping that he didn't catch on to what the woman between her breasts was doing to her.

"Maura…"

Maura kisses her way up Jane's neck and finishes at her lips.

"Yes Jane?"

"That was the best distraction I have ever had. But I have to go back up to Frost and Korsak, I was expected back about an hour ago."

"That's fine Jane. But I hope you know that we're not done here."

"We're not? Good."

Jane does up her shirt and tucks it back in her pants, hoping that nothing will give her away to the boys.

Maura stands to go and open the door for Jane. Jan reaches for Maura's hand and turns her around to face her. They stand close to each other, looking each other in the eyes, both smiling.

"I love you Maura. I love you like I have never loved anyone in my life."

"I love you too Jane. I choose you too."

Jane smiles and melts into Maura's kiss. She turns to leave but Maura pulls her back for one last kiss. Jane opens the door and never stops looking at Maura until the elevator door closes and takes her up to her desk.

* * *

Jane gets home late and as she makes her way up the stairs, she sees that there is someone at her door. A man in a leather jacket is standing there as if waiting for her to come home.

"Casey."

The man turns around and smiles. He moves over to Jane and tries to embrace her but she takes a step back and puts on a sympathetic smile. Immediately his features change and his smile disappears, replaced by sadness and a hint of anger.

"Why don't you come inside and have a beer?"

"Sure Jane, if that's ok."

"Yeah, its fine."

Jane puts her things down, but deciding to listen to her gut and keep her weapon holstered. She pulls two beers out of the fridge and stands opposite Casey with her bench in between them.

"So I assume that you have made a decision then?"

"Casey I'm sorry. I just-"

"No don't be sorry Jane. I mean all I did was give up everything to come here and be with you and in less than a day you have managed to decide that you no longer want me."

"Hey. I didn't ask you to do any of that. That was your decision and I had nothing to do with it. As far as I knew you were still in Afghanistan. I thought you had made your decision."

There is silence for a moment and Casey takes a swig of his beer and chuckles to himself.

"Casey what we had was wonderful and I think that in a way I did love you but-"

"DID! IN A WAY YOU DID LOVE ME!"

Casey's sudden outburst takes Jane by surprise. He has risen off of his chair and is leaning on the bench, a little too close for Jane's liking.

"Did you ever love me Jane?"

"Casey I-"

"NO! Don't play around with words. Just answer the question."

"No. I was never in love with you."

Casey begins to laugh and he makes his way around the bench, hands on hips with anger plastered across his face.

"Jane…"

In this moment, the way his voice shakes with anger, Jane begins to feel frightened and she tries to move away from Casey. Her hand is hovering above her weapon, but she knows that she cannot shoot an unarmed man.

Casey stops in front of Jane and simply looks her in the eyes.

"Is there someone else?"

"I never cheated on you."

"That's not what I mean Jane. Is there someone else?"

Jane wonders whether she should say yes. She doesn't want Casey to know that it is Maura, she is worried that he will become a threat to her. Jane decides to play it safe.

"There isn't anyone else."

Casey moves closer to Jane, pressing her into the corner, becoming an oppressive force. He leans in to whisper something in her ear and all Jane can think about is Maura and she is hoping with every fibre of her being that she doesn't come through her door.

"I don't believe you Jane."

Casey almost hisses this in her ear and then he moves away from her slightly, still too close for comfort.

"Casey get out. I don't want you here anymore. There is nothing left between us. It's over and it has been for a long time now. I don't love you, nor was I ever in love with you. Leave."

At this the anger rises in Casey's eyes and Jane receives a shot of adrenalin as she anticipates what will happen next and she prepares herself. Casey's hand rises into the air and despite Jane's attempt to block the blow Casey's experience and training gets the better of her and he delivers a blow to her face and one to her abdomen. Jane falls to the floor, tears in her eyes, and desperately tries to lift herself up to protect herself from Casey.

Jane looks up at Casey and she sees the fear in his eyes.

"Jane I…"

"GET OUT!"

Casey cannot speak, all he can do is turn around and walk out of Jane's apartment.

Jane remains on the floor, holding her abdomen, her ribs on fire. She struggles to breathe and settles on short, quick breaths to avoid the full force of her pain. Her head throbs and she feels a drop of blood trickle down the side of her face. She tries to stand but can only manage to sit up. Jane begins to sob and her head falls in between her knees. All she can think about is Maura and her embrace and how safe she makes Jane feel. Jane takes her phone out of her pocket and speed dials Maura. Maura picks up after two rings and after saying hello she waits for Jane to respond. But no words come from Jane's mouth and all she can do is cry into the phone.

"Jane?"

"Maur…"

"Jane what's going on? Are you ok? Where are you?"

"I'm at home. Please come Maur, I need you."

"I'm coming Jane, I'll be there soon, just hold on honey."

Maura hangs up the phone and Jane is alone again. She puts the phone down beside her and all she can do is sit and wait for her safety and her home to come and save her. Her sobs subside and her tears simply roll down her face, her hands clench each other, her mind racing. Jane jumps at every sound. She is shaken and her head is spinning but she knows that once Maura arrives and once she is in her arms, everything will be ok. Jane needs Maura and she is not used to needing someone. Jane has always been able to handle everything herself, but now that she has Maura, she can't help but relish in the fact that she is not alone and she has someone to love and hold her, something that she has needed for a long time.

Her front door opens and she hears Maura's heels click on her way inside.

"Jane?" Maura's voice is weary and she tentatively makes her way inside.

"In the kitchen Maur."

Maura makes her way to Jane's voice and as she sees Jane on the floor with blood on her face, she gasps, her hand bag drops to the floor and she falls onto her knees, taking Jane in her arms, thankful that the woman that she loves reciprocates her embrace and wraps her arms around her. Jane's tears once again fall but this time for a different reason. Maura kisses Jane's head and she stays holding Jane until they both stand and Maura takes Jane in to her room.


	6. Chapter 6

**Hey everyone :) Thank you so much for taking the time to read this chapter. I really tried to highlight the passion and intensity between Jane and Maura and i really wanted this to be a very personal chapter for the both of them. I hope you enjoy :)**

* * *

Maura leads Jane into her bathroom and turns the light on. Jane catches a glimpse of herself in the mirror and winces, turning away quickly. Maura notices the look on her face and motions for her to sit down on the edge of her bath tub, facing away from her reflection. Maura asks if Jane has a first aid kit and Jane weakly shakes her head. Maura walks out of the room, to her hand bag, and returns to Jane with a small first aid kit containing the necessary tools for some stiches. Maura also goes to the kitchen in order to get some ice to reduce the swelling and numb Jane's forehead. Maura stands over Jane, gently places the ice on her wound after wiping the blood away. Maura places the ice in a paper towel. As she places it on Jane's forehead Jane winces in pain but allows for Maura to continue, uttering no words of protest. She reaches up and takes Maura's hand in her own. Maura is caught off guard, expecting Jane to remain silent and closed off, retreating into herself as is her defence mechanism.

Maura removes the ice and crouches down in front of Jane so their eyes are at the same level. There are new tears in Jane's eyes and they begin to slowly fall down her face. Maura reaches up and wipes them away, taking Jane's face in her hands. She stays still for a moment, holding Jane's face, looking into her eyes, trying to make her feel like maybe it will be ok, that the look in her eyes will tell Jane just how much she loves her and that she will make everything ok. Jane lowers her head into Maura's hands and moves her own hand to reach and hold onto Maura's wrist, grounding herself in the present and allowing the woman she loves to take her out of the past.

"Jane do you think that you would be able to get into the shower? I can wait outside."

"No Maur."

"Ok then well let me at least clean you as beat I can-"

"No Maur. I mean don't leave…"

Maura feels tears come to her eyes as she looks at Jane, almost defeated. But she knows that no one could ever break Jane, Jane has strength unlike any she has ever seen.

Jane stands and raises her arms, letting Maura take her shirt off up over her head. Then Jane undoes the zipper on her pants and allows them to fall. She stands in front of Maura, arms drawn in at her sides', head down with tears streaming down her face. Maura reaches up and once again holds Jane's face in her hands and instead of trying to help Jane with her words, Maura steps into Jane, raises herself on her tip toes and gently presses her lips to Jane's. Maura feels Jane relax and fall so deeply and completely into the kiss. They break the kiss but Maura continues to hold Jane's face close to hers, resting their foreheads together.

"I'm never going anywhere Jane."

Jane smiles into Maura's eyes and lets Maura reach around her to turn on the water for the shower. Maura waits for the water to reach the perfect temperature and turns to see that Jane has removed her bra and panties. Maura's breath catches in her throat. She always knew that Jane had impeccable physique but she had never been able to truly appreciate nor realise just how perfectly beautiful Jane was. Maura smiles at Jane and turns to fully face her. She takes Jane's hand and helps her into the tub. Jane stands under the warmth of the water and tips her head back, letting the water run over her, washing away the remnants of the attack.

Maura cannot help but stare at Jane; the water running over every inch of her. How Maura craved to be that water, feeling every inch of Jane's skin. Jane needs help washing her back and mid-section as she has significant bruising and she also wants Maura's hands on her. She wants Maura's hands to take away her pain, to cleanse her, as they had done so many times in the past. Jane closes her eyes and takes in the feeling of Maura's hands on her back, massaging her muscles, applying pressure to the right areas and trailing her fingers around Jane's muscles, coercing them into relaxation.

Jane rinses herself off and takes the towel from Maura. She steps out of the tub and allows Maura to dry her back. Jane takes the towel and struggles to wrap her hair in it, and although Maura can see that this causes Jane pain she allows her to accomplish it on her own, knowing just how much Jane craves her independence. When Jane is done, body dry, standing completely naked with her back to Maura, Maura takes a step towards Jane and wraps her arms around her. She rests her head against Jane's back and smiles into her skin when she feels Jane's hands cover her own. Both women stand in this moment, smiling at the ease and perfect nature of their love for each other. Maura places light kisses on Jane's back and walks Jane into her bedroom and allows Jane to fall into her bed.

"Maura, would you stay with me tonight? I need you…"

"Of course Jane, I'm not going anywhere." Maura says this with just a hint of a smile.

Maura walks to Jane's closet and pulls out Jane's BPD shirt and panties. She throws them at Jane and Jane puts them on. Maura climbs onto the bed and lies next to Jane. Jane moves closer to Maura and rests her head on Maura's shoulder. They both smile and Maura takes Jane's hand and places a kiss on Jane's head, allowing the brunette to relax in her arms and sleep away the events of the evening. Maura closes her eyes and falls asleep to the rhythm of Jane's heartbeat.

* * *

Maura is violently awoken by the thrashing of Jane's arms and legs. Despite being hit multiple times Maura manages to climb on top of Jane and stop her from flailing. Jane continues to yell out, the screams of a woman haunted by the abuse of a man she once loved. Maura talks Jane back to a calm state and holds her down for a few seconds more. Maura slowly lifts herself off of Jane and lies back down. Jane stays asleep and Maura wraps her arms around her, Jane leaning her head on Maura. Maura closes her eyes, only falling half asleep, body tense, anticipating another nightmare from Jane.

* * *

Both women slowly awake to a warm morning. Maura's arms are still protectively wrapped around Jane's and Maura smiles as she looks down to see their legs intertwined. Jane nuzzles her face into Maura's chest and takes a deep breath in.

"Good morning."

"Jane, how are you feeling?"

"I'm feeling much better Maur. But my head is killing me!"

"I can get you something for that. But do you remember anything from last night?"

"Errrr, no. Did something happen? Did we…?"

Maura can't help but laugh at this, and at Jane's inability to decide upon a reaction, switching her face between worried and grinning from ear to ear.

"No Jane we didn't. I meant did you remember your dream?"

"Oh. I had a dream?"

"Yes you did. But if you are feeling ok then it's nothing to worry about."

"Well I feel fine, I mean as fine as I can be. And you're here with me Maur, I'm ok."

Maura smiles at this and places a kiss on Jane's forehead. She decides against telling Jane about the violence of her dream and the bruises that she now has that are thankfully hidden by her pants and long sleeve shirt. She doesn't want to burden Jane with this, after everything she has been through.

"Let me make you breakfast."

"No that's ok Jane I can make us breakfast."

"Us? I like that. And in that case, I'll make _us _breakfast." Jane says this with a wide grin but as she attempt to lift herself off of the bed her body gives way under her and she shouts in pain, forgetting the bruising that was left around her ribs.

"Jane!"

Maura sits on her knees and helps Jane to lie on her back. Maura takes Jane's hand but Jane assures her that she is ok. Maura leans in to Jane's neck and begins to sob. Jane holds her and begins to run her mind wild thinking about why Maura is reacting like this.

"Maur honey, I'm fine."

"I know Jane. I know."

"Then what's wrong babe?"

"I just… When I walked in last night, your face was covered in blood and you were crumpled on the floor and it all reminded me of the day that you got shot. And you were bleeding and you couldn't look at me and I was so scared Jane. I was so scared. I was scared that I would lose you and that I would never get to tell you that I love you and that I would never get to see your smile again or feel what it was like to have you touch me."

"Maura honey. Look at me."

Maura lifts her head and straddles Jane. But she is careful to be gentle and avoid any bruised areas.

Jane smiles at Maura's seating option and continues with her words of love for the wonderful woman in front of her.

"Maur I had no idea. I'm sorry that I never came to see if you were ok after that. And I'm sorry that I never looked after you the way that I should have. I had no idea that you were holding all of that in. But Maura I just want you to know that the whole time all of that was happening, the shooting, last night, all I could think about was you. When I almost died, my little brother was bleeding internally and had tubes coming out of him, but all I could think about was you. The only thing that kept me going, kept my heart beating, was the thought of seeing you again. Just to see you again was the only thing that I wanted Maur."

Maura just smiles and looks down at Jane. She trails her hand along Jane's leg behind her and brings it forwards to trace the outline of her jaw. Maura leans down and kisses Jane. But she is not as gently as the previous night. This time she lets Jane know just how much she wants her. But she has to slow down and hold back when she notices Jane wincing in pain.

"Oh, sorry Jane." Maura smiles innocently.

"That's ok Maur. I guess I just have to take it easy for a while."

Maura lifts herself off Jane and helps her get out of bed. She takes Jane to the couch and makes sure that she is comfortable. She turns the TV on and goes into the kitchen, hoping that she will be able to find something that can make a breakfast that is edible.

Maura opens the fridge and sees exactly what she expected. Nothing. She decides that she will go out and see if she can find something for the both of them.

"Jane."

Maura walks into the bedroom and can't help but smile at the sight in front of her. Jane is siting up, wrapped in the sheets, with a smile on her face and the most innocent look in her eyes. Maura walks to the edge of the bed and crawls on it towards Jane. She leans in for a kiss and rests her head against Jane's.

"You knew that the fridge was empty didn't you?"

"Of course I did. You know me Maur; I'm the one who eats ketchup and olives for dinner."

Maura laughs at this and lies down on the bed at Jane's feet. She looks up at Jane, her wild curls framing her face. The sun streams in and almost dances around Jane, illuminating her. Maura is mesmerised for a moment and cannot form words, her mind lost in Jane's deep brown eyes.

"Um, Jane, I think that I am going to go out and see if I can find something for breakfast and maybe stock up the fridge."

For a moment Jane's face shows a look of nervousness but it is gone as quickly as it came. Maura notices it briefly but decides that it is nothing to worry about.

Maura leans in for one more kiss and then gets up, grabs her hand bag and walks out of Jane's apartment.

Something in Jane changes as soon as Maura is gone and she hears the solid thump of the door closing. She jumps out of bed, ignoring the pain in her abdomen, and runs to the door, making sure it is properly locked. She then looks for her gun, finally finding it in the drawer where she always puts it away, Maura must have put it away for her. She goes to the window in the kitchen and makes sure that it is also locked and that the blinds are drawn. She sits in the corner of the kitchen. Her knees are drawn up to her chest and her gun facing the door. Her heartbeat is erratic and her hands are shaking. Jane is scared and her mind is racing. She keeps getting flashes of the previous night. Tears come to her eyes and she does everything she can to keep them at bay, wanting nothing to impede her sight. And that is how Jane stays, until Maura's return. Upon hearing Maura's key in the door, Jane quickly stands and places her gun in the drawer, opens the kitchen window and slowly walks over to the door to greet Maura. Jane smiles and takes the bags that Maura has, walking them to the kitchen.

Jane places the bags on the bench and begins to empty them. Maura empties the things that she needs and she begins to make breakfast for the two of them. Jane finishes unpacking the groceries and then sits on the other side of the bench, unable to take her eyes off Maura. Maura moves so swiftly and perfectly in the kitchen, as if she has been here her whole life and it is her own space. Jane smiles and allows her mind to wander into the possibilities of the future. She giggles at the prospect of seeing Maura holding their child in her arms, nuzzling her neck and kissing her small hands and feet. Maura turns to look at Jane and notices her smile and her distant eyes. She walks over to Jane and solely moves her face to meet the brunette's, placing her lips on Jane's brining Jane back to where she is.

"Where did you go?"

"Just thinking, Maur."

Jane smiles at Maura and receives a wonderful smile in return. Breakfast is finished, pancakes with banana and strawberry. Jane begins to pour maple syrup onto her pancakes, despite Maura's detest of just how much she puts on. Jane simply laughs, loving that Maura takes the time to lecture her on maple syrup. Jane simply leans over the bench and places a kiss on Maura's cheek.

"I love you."

Jane whispers this in Maura's ear and allows her lips to trail down Maura's neck, taking in her scent and the taste of her soft skin.

Jane leans back and begins to concentrate on her breakfast once again. But when she looks up she notices that Maura has tears in her eyes.

"Maur, what's wrong?"

Jane stands and makes her way around to Maura. She wraps her arms around her from behind and rests her head in Maura's golden curls.

"It's just… no one has ever said that to me before Jane. Not like that."

"Like what Maur?"

"In a way that makes me believe them…"

Jane smiles and kisses Maura's neck, her cheek, her shoulder.

"Well then I suppose that I will have to tell you every day. And I will. I will tell you every time I see you in the morning and every time I lay next to you in our bed. I will make sure that you believe that I love you more than I have ever loved anyone. Just know Maur, that I have never let anyone in like I have let you in. I have always been scared to show myself to people. But never with you Maur. You are the only one who has the power to make me the happiest person in the world, but you are the only one who could ever destroy me."

Maura turns around in Jane's arms, looking into her eyes. A tear falls down Maura's cheek and Jane catches it with her finger, wiping it away. She holds Maura's face and Maura closes her eyes, leaning her face into Jane's hand. Then Maura leans into Jane's chest, putting to memory Jane's scent, her feel. They wrap their arms around each other, both forgetting the events of the past and only living for this embrace.


	7. Chapter 7

Jane sits at her desk on Friday morning, tapping her pencil on her desk in an attempt to pass the time, only wanting to run down to the morgue and see Maura. She smiles and softly laughs at herself, wondering just what has happened to her in the last few days. She has been smiling and laughing with Maura and she cannot remember ever being more contented or happy in all her life. But there is a cloud looming over her thoughts. The night Casey attacked her. She and Maura haven't spoken about that night in great detail. And that is partly because Jane insists upon changing the subject every time Maura brings it up. She hasn't spoken to Maura about how she becomes frightened and afraid when she is left alone. She hasn't told Maura that she now sleeps with her gun under her pillow and that she locks her door every time someone leaves and can never settle her heart after Maura leaves. But Maura has effectively moved in to Jane's apartment. She has clothes in Jane's tiny closet and she has brought her tea and coffee over to Jane's apartment. Maura has bombarded Jane's tiny bathroom with all of her beauty products, despite Jane's insistence that she doesn't need any of it. Jane's leg begins to jump up and down and she taps the pen harder on the desk. Her phone vibrates and her heart jumps into her throat when she sees that it's Maura.

_The autopsy is done and I'm just finishing my report. Meet me in my office?_

Jane smiles and thinks about the last time they were in Maura's office together. She quickly replies and mumbles something quickly to Frost and Korsak and has to try and not run to the elevator and into Maura's office.

Jane steps out of the elevator and calmly walks into Maura's office, glad to see that the blinds are drawn. She closes the door behind her and walks over to Maura's desk. She leans her arms down and moves her head to Maura's giving her a kiss. Maura smiles and stands and makes her way over to Jane on the other side of the desk. Jane turns around and Maura pins her to the desk. She puts her lips against Jane's neck and moves her way up to her lips. They both smile, feeling the other woman grin in the kiss.

"I thought you needed to show me something in your report Maur."

"They'll all still be dead in five minutes."

Jane laughs at Maura's comment and brings her arms around her, pulling her close. Jane thinks that she should tell Maura about her PTSD but she hesitates. She puts her head down and leans her forehead against Maura's. Maura runs her hands along Jane's arms and into her hair. She plays with Jane's curls and steps closer to Jane, moving her leg in between Jane's. Jane's head falls back and Maura begins to kiss and lick her way along Jane's neck and down to her collar bone. She presses her leg harder into Jane eliciting a moan from her brunette. Jane folds herself into Maura and wraps her arms around her.

"I'm so happy Maur."

Maura smiles and lifts her face up to Jane's lips. They kiss passionately, tongues exploring each other, hands working to feel every conceivable inch of their partner.

Jane's phone vibrates and both women drop their heads, disappointed that their moment was interrupted by reality.

Jane reads the message and puts her phone back in her belt.

"They need me back upstairs. What were you going to tell me about the autopsy?"

"Oh I don't have anything new; I just wanted to see you."

Maura finishes with a sly smirk and turns around to walk back around to her chair. But Jane reaches for her arm and pulls her back hoping to get one last kiss. But in that movement Maura's lab coat rides up her arm and Jane catches the glimpse of a purple bruise on Maura's skin. Jane's face changes immediately and Maura pulls down her sleeve and looks at Jane tyring to come up with something to explain this to her.

"Maura what happened?"

"Jane its fine, it's not bad, I'm fine."

"Maur, I have had my fair share of bruises so don't tell me that it's not bad. How did you get it?"

"Jane I…."

"Maura please."

Jane moves forward and takes Maura's hands in hers. She pleads with her eyes and they being to fill with tears. She imagines the worst and cannot help it when her imagination beings to race, throwing her so many scenarios.

"Jane I haven't told you because I didn't want to hurt you and I didn't want you to worry because I thought it would get better."

"Maura I love you, I am in love with you. Of course I worry about you. Just please tell me."

But Jane's synapses fire and she remembers the first night Maura spent in her bed. She had asked her the next morning if she had remembered having a dream in the night. She knew that sometimes PTSD sufferers had vivid dreams and could become violent in their sleep. But she had no idea. She couldn't even remember.

"Maura I did this."

Jane's eyes fill with tears and she drops her head. Maura steps towards her and takes her face in her hands.

"Maura I am so sorry. I had no idea. Why didn't you tell me? God Maura I can't believe I did this. I'm so sorry Maur…"

"Jane it's ok. I understand and it has been getting better. I mean in the beginning it was hard but over the last few days you have settled down a little."

"No Maura. I have to go and get help. I need to fix this. I hurt you and I just…"

Maura steps into Jane and embraces her. Jane sobs a little into Maura and then steps away from her.

"Maura if you don't want to stay over anymore then I completely – "

"Jane! There is no way that I am leaving you alone. After everything you have been through I am never going to leave you. That's not how this works. I'm staying."

"But what about if I hurt you again?"

"Well then I suppose I will just have to tire you out enough so you don't wake up."

Maura smiles suggestively at Jane and takes her face in her hands. Jane smiles a small smile and buries her face in Maura's neck, thankful for the warmth and love that she has found in Maura.

"Jane it will be ok. I promise."

Jane's phone vibrates again and she places one last kiss on Maura's soft lips and turns to leave the office. She knows that she has to tell Maura about her fear of being alone and how she has grown desperate to be in Maura's company because that is the only place she feels safe. Jane decides to tell Maura tonight when they get home.

Jane opens Maura's front door and lets herself in. Maura isn't home yet, she said that she would pick up dinner for the two of them. Jane takes her instant coffee out of the cupboard and brings down her favourite mug. She smiles as she opens the cupboard beside her head to see a box of Thin Mints with a sticky note on them in Maura's hand writing: _For my Jane._

Jane opens the box and takes out some cookies. She sips her coffee and eats the cookies in peaceful silence.

There is a bang outside that catches Jane's attention and sends her senses into overdrive. Her mind begins to race and she reaches for her gun. Her heart is going a million miles an hour in her chest, her hands begin to sweat and her whole body shakes. Jane runs to the door and locks it, making sure to lock the door that leads to the guest house as well. Jane quickly makes her way upstairs and into Maura's bedroom. She grabs Maura's pillow off of her bed and crouches in the corner, hoping that the smell of Maura on her pillow will relax her heart and calm her down. She holds her gun as steady as she can and rests her face in Maura's pillow, tears beginning to form in her eyes.

She is so tired. She just wants to sleep it all away. Her fears and her worries and everything that has happened to her. Hoyt, her kidnapping, the shooting at the BPD and now everything with Casey. She just wanted and needed for all of it to go away. All she wanted was Maura, she just wanted Maura. Her hands and her beautiful eyes that always filled her with hope and unfathomable love. As Jane's breathing settles her eyes begin to become heavy and slowly close. She tries to keep them open but she is just so tired. Despite her efforts, she cannot help but drift into semi-sleep.

Her mind sends her images past horrors. Her hands tremble around the trigger of her gun, her subconscious controlling her urge to pull the trigger at her memories. Suddenly there are hands on Jane's and her eyes snap open and her senses run wild, still half asleep. Two shots ring out and Jane's ears start to ring and her eyes being to take in what's around her, letting go of the images of her dream. Her gun is in her hand, the safety off. Maura is on the floor, arms over her head, trembling in fear. Maura's scream only registers with Jane moments after. Jane drops her gun, closes her eyes and tries to move. Maura lifts her head and Jane sees the tears in her eyes. But there is also fear; Maura looks at Jane for the first time in her life with fear in her eyes. Jane struggles to bring herself to her knees and crawls over to Maura, still shaking.

Jane's voice shakes as she mumbles Maura's name. She reaches out her hand as Maura lifts herself to lean on her bed. She moves away from Jane's hand and sits on the end of her bed, her back to Jane. Jane's eyes plead with Maura, her heart breaking every time she takes a step. Jane walks around to Maura and gets on her knees. Maura is softly sobbing, fidgeting with her hands.

"Maura honey I…", but Jane runs out of words. She doesn't know what to say or do. She knows that this is all her fault and that she could have stopped it from happening.

"Jane I need for you to leave." Maura's voice breaks as she says this but she doesn't falter in her conviction.

Jane's eyes fill with tears and a lump forms in her throat. She hangs her head in shame and slowly stands up. But she leaves her heart at Maura's feet.

Jane walks over to the door but doesn't close it behind her, hoping that Maura will rethink her decision and tell her to come back. But as Jane continues to walk down the hall and past the kitchen to the front door, there is only silence and the deafening beat of her heart in her ears. Jane opens the front door, looks back one last time, steps through it and closes the door behind her. But she can't continue. She cannot possibly take any more steps away from Maura. Her emotions and her fatigue take over and she falls to her knees in front of Maura's house. Tears stream, down her face and the world blurs before her eyes. Jane covers her face with her hands and sobs into them, full aware of the cold of the night enveloping her and cutting right through her.

Finally Jane falls to the floor and stays there. She does not move for the whole night, willing her body not to give up. Somewhere between 1 and 2 in the morning Jane cannot help but fall asleep. Her eyes close and her hands come out of fists, blood returning to her knuckles. Then the front door to Maura's home opens and she steps outside. Her heart breaks at the picture of the woman she loves, broken and beaten on the ground. Maura runs over to Jane and shakes her awake, trying to make it possible to get her inside.

"Jane wake up. Please wake up Jane."

Maura rolls Jane onto her back and takes her face in her hands. She places her lips to Jane's forehead, shocked at the coolness of Jane's skin. Maura manages to coerce Jane into semi-consciousness and struggles to get her inside. When they get inside Jane falls to the floor in the kitchen, no longer having the energy to stay standing. Maura leaves Jane and goes into her bedroom. She removes the blanket off of her bed and carries it out to the kitchen.

Jane's eyes are closed but her hands are clenched tight and her body is shaking all over. She begins to mumble and Maura has to move closer to be able to understand what she is saying.

"I'm so sorry Maur. Please don't leave. I'm so sorry Maur. Please don't leave…"

She mumbles this over and over again. Maura begins to cry again and crouches beside Jane. She takes the blanket and places it over both of them. She folds herself onto Jane and wraps her arms around her, thankful when the brunette moves closer to her and whispers her name. And the two women fall asleep, their hearts matching in rhythm and Maura holding onto that which she loved most in the world.

The morning sun began to stream into Maura's kitchen and as it shone across her eyes it awoke her, bringing her attention to the woman curled against her. In the night Jane must have turned over to face Maura because now her head was comfortably resting against Maura's neck, their legs intertwined and Jane's arm around Maura. Maura smiled at how peaceful Jane looked, despite everything that had happened the previous night and she realises that this is the second time that Jane has found solace with Maura after a trauma. Maura's hand comes up to Jane's forehead and she moves her hair out of her face. Her fingers trace the contours of Jane's face, her cheeks, her brow, around her lips. Maura laughs softly when Jane curls her nose as she tickles it with her fingertips.

"Hi Maura."

Jane's eyes flicker open, relief flooding her face when she sees Maura's face above hers, love in her eyes and a smile on her face.

"Good morning."

Maura leans down and kisses Jane's nose and her lips linger on Jane's forehead.

Maura moves away from Jane and sits up; noticing that sleeping on the floor was not doing anything good for her back. Jane sits up beside Maura and rests her face in her hands. She looks up at Maura and opens her mouth to say something but decides against it.

"What is it Jane?"

"Maura I… I just need you to know just how sorry I am. I mean I don't even know what to say to you. I can't believe that I put you in such a position. I'm so sorry Maura. Please just know how much I love you and that I will never do anything like this ever again I promise. I told you that you were the only person who could break or destroy me. And it's true. Last night when you asked me to leave, my heart stopped in my chest and after I walked out of here I couldn't do anything, I was struggling to breathe. And I just fell. Maura please don't leave."

"Jane I would never leave you."

Jane begins to sob beside Maura and the strawberry-blonde moves closer to the woman that she loves and takes her face in her hands, guiding her into the nape of her neck.

"Maura I mean it. If you ever left, I know that I wouldn't survive it…"

"Hey. Look at me."

Maura raises Jane's face to look in her eyes. She looks deep into the brunette's eyes, trying to make her feel her love deep down inside her.

"I am never going anywhere Jane. I love you, and I will love you through anything. Because I know you Jane Rizzoli and you are more than worth it. I love you."

"I love you too Maur. I'm sorry that I didn't tell you about being paranoid and having anxiety. I guess I just thought that it would take care of itself and go away. And then last night…"

Maura simply takes Jane's hand in hers, kisses her scar, and brings her arms around Jane's neck, placing a kiss on her lips that is so deep and wonderful and full of love that Jane cannot help but melt into the honey-blonde, letting go of the world, forgetting everything around her, only able to focus on the feeling of Maura's lips on hers. And in that single moment, Jane knew that as long as she had Maura, everything would be alright.


	8. Chapter 8

**Hey guys, sorry for the delay but I have been really busy with school and I haven't had a lot of time to write. Thank you so much for taking the time to read this and for your continued support. I really hope you enjoy this chapter. Please let me know what you think, I would love your feedback. Have a great day :)**

* * *

Jane and Maura sit at the bench in Maura's kitchen, cups of coffee in their hands. Jane has her instant while Maura waited for her barista quality morning pick me up. Jane sits in silence while Maura stares at her. Jane knows what is coming and she is afraid.

"Jane."

"Maura I already know what you're going to say."

"And what do you think?"

"I know that it's important to get this taken care of, I know that I need to work through some of these issues. But Maura….. I just, I can't."

Jane drops her head in defeat and her eyes fill with small tears. But she composes herself and raises her head to look Maura in the eyes.

"Maura, I want you to do it."

"Jane I…."

"Maura, please. You know me better than anyone. I have never let someone get to know me so well, I have never let someone so far in. Last night I was so scared Maura, I thought that I had ruined everything because I was too proud to come to you when I needed you. There is something about you Maura that I cannot put any words to; something about you that transcends anything and makes its way straight into my heart. Somehow you have made yourself a home inside of me, you have awoken a world in me that I was never aware of. And its wonderful Maur, it's the best thing that has ever happened to me. And you are the only person that I want to be making her way through my thought, through my past, present and hopefully my future."

With this last line, mentioning Jane's future, Maura lifts her head, looks into Jane's eyes and cannot do anything but smile. Maura put down her coffee, made her way around her bench and straight to Jane. She stands in front of Jane and pulls her towards her, placing her lips on Jane's. Jane sinks into the kiss and runs her hands through Maura's hair. Maura pushes Jane towards the dining table and forces her to sit down. She grabs Jane's hair and pulls her head back, forcing Jane away from her lips and to look into her eyes. Jane laughs to herself and watches Maura, amazingly sexy, having her just as she wants her.

"Jane I know you want me to play around in your head, but that's not really what I want to be playing with right now." Maura lets an extremely naughty smile cross her mouth and relishes in Jane's reaction. Jane's eyes widened and her heart beat increased. Jane was surprised at Maura's strength and tried to lift herself off the table to dominate Maura. But unexpectedly, Maura pushed her back and straddled her hips, forcing Jane to lie back against the table, totally at Maura's mercy. Maura grabbed Jane's hands and pinned them above her head. She leaned in and placed soft kisses on Jane's cheeks and down her neck. Jane moaned and raised her hips towards Maura's. Maura sat up and began to pull her shirt up over her head. She moved her knee in between Jane's legs and pressed up against her centre. She teased Jane, remaining in control. Jane raised herself towards Maura, the hunger evident on her face. Maura lifted Jane's shirt off her body and threw it on the floor. Her knee continued to torment Jane while her hands explored Jane's torso, making their way over her toned stomach and coming to rest on her firm breasts. Maura let a moan of excitement escape when she noticed that Jane's bra came undone at the front, and with a lightning-fast move of her fingers, the bra was off and Jane was exposed to Maura. Maura came to Jane's lips and covered them with her own. Her hands gently massaged Jane's breasts and their tongues explored while their minds raced and their heart beats quickened. Jane brought her hands up to Maura's face and they made their way into Maura's honey-blonde curls. Both women tasted the smiles in each-others kiss. Jane's hands then started to make their way to the top of Maura's pants, her fingers teasingly sliding only a little of the way past the hem. Maura's hips moved closer to Jane's hands, brining Maura's knee harder against Jane's hot centre. Jane gave in first and slowly pulled the zipper down, revealing Maura's silk panties. Jane's traced her finger along Maura's wetness and made sure to stay away from her clit. Maura gave in as well; she sat up, ripped off her bra, tore away her pants and panties and proceeded to do the same to Jane. She pulled Jane up towards her, both women now completely naked on the dining room table.

Maura jumped off the table and took Jane's hand in hers. She led Jane to her bedroom and their lips were once again locked. Maura walked Jane over to the bed and folded herself over her, bringing the covers over them both.

A night of sweat and cries of ecstasy ensued. Both women were more than satisfied and were definitely left wanting more. That night, Jane found her first undisturbed sleep with Maura's arms wrapped around her and the smell of their love permeating the air around them, until there was no longer just Jane or just Maura, but simply both.

Jane awoke as the afternoon sun came drifting in the window and danced across her face. She moved her face against Maura's hair and smiled at the feeling. She tightened her grip around Maura and kissed the back of her exposed neck, making her way down her back. Maura awoke to the sensation of Jane kissing her way down her back and along her legs. Maura turned over and Jane found her way in between her legs. She kissed her way up the honey-blonde's thighs and her hands intertwined with Maura's, Maura's back arching in pleasure as Jane found her moist centre. Jane's tongue and fingers gave Maura everything she wanted and more. Maura came hard and shouted Jane's name over and over again, Jane inside her and all over her.

Jane crawled up Maura's body and wiped her mouth on the sheets before gently placing her lips on the honey-blondes. Jane smiled and pulled back from Maura, taking a moment to look at the woman underneath her. Maura smiled and her head tilted in that typical Maura way. Jane chuckled softly and rested her head on Maura's shoulder and intertwined their legs. Maura took Jane's hand in hers and moved her fingers around Jane's, putting to memory the feeling of Jane's hand and the way they felt together.

"So, sex for breakfast then?"

Jane laughed at Maura's comment and kissed her cheek in approval.

"Looks like it Maur. Actually I didn't plan on getting out of bed all day."

"I don't have anywhere to be, although we should rehydrate. Both of us have lost electrolytes that need to be – "

Jane interrupted Maura with a kiss.

"I love it when you speak science to me doctor."

Both women laughed into each other's lips and eventually they broke away from the kiss. Maura got up and out of bed and as she walked to the closet Jane got a perfect view of the sunlight glinting off of her perfectly formed and soft skinned ass. Jane smiled and quickly got out of bed to follow her. She found Maura reaching up to grab a silk robe and she took her opportunity. She moved behind Maura and wrapped her arms around her. She kissed her neck and across her shoulders. Maura turned around in Jane's arms and all she could do was smile. Maura moved closer to Jane and rested her head on Jane's shoulder. And the two women simply remained in each other's arms. They both smiled and took in the scent of their lover. Jane looked up and saw the robe that Maura was in the process of retrieving and she took it down and wrapped it around Maura. Maura smiled and moved her arms through the sleeves, bringing them back around Jane.

"You can't seem to keep your hands off of me detective." Maura said this with a sly smile.

"Well can you blame me Maur? I mean look at you, you're beautiful and I love you and just being like this is one of my favourite things in the world. You're stunning doctor."

Maura's head fell in embarrassment and there was the hint of a smile on her lips.

"Jane…"

"What is it Maur?" Jane reached up to Maura's chin and raised her eyes so that she was looking into the wonderful hazel eyes of the woman that she loved.

"It's nothing Jane it's just that; no one has ever said anything like that to me before."

"You mean no one has ever called you beautiful?"

"No."

"Maur… I don't know what to say."

"Its fine Jane, you don't have to say anything."

"Yes I do. Maura I adore you, everything about you and I absolutely cannot understand why all the people you had around you didn't remind you how wonderful you are."

Maura's eyes filled with small tears and she looked up at Jane. Jane smiled at the honey-blonde and placed a gentle kiss on her forehead. Maura lifted her hands to Jane's face and enveloped Jane's lips in her own for a passionate kiss that said more than 'I love you'.

A tear slid down Maura's cheek and she slowly walked out of the closet and sat on the edge of the bed, her head hanging low. Jane took a robe and put it on, walking over to Maura. She kneels in front of the woman she loves and takes both her hands, taking the time to place soft kisses on the tips of her fingers. Jane looks up into the wonderfully green-blue eyes of Maura Isles and said "tell me Maura."

Maura looked into Jane's eyes and Jane could tell that this hurt her a lot more than she let on. Maura struggled to form words, which was a problem she never had. And despite Jane's pain at seeing Maura so hurt, she was also thankful. She was thankful that Maura trusted her enough to let her see her like this.

"I don't – I don't know, Jane. I was a weird kid. I spent a lot of time alone. I was adopted, my father was a professor and my mother she – she came from a wealthy family and was an only child. There was a lot of benign neglect. It's not that they didn't love me. It's just that I didn't ask for much. I don't think I really knew how, and the less that I would ask for, the less time that they'd have for me. They were just very, very involved in their own lives and into each other. They sent me to boarding school when I was ten. I actually think that I sent away for the brochure myself. They were delighted. I was really lost."

And with that last piece, Maura broke and tears fell from her eyes, her body losing its strength, falling into Jane. Jane wasn't ready for the weight of Maura tumbling into her and so she did her best to lend them both softly on the floor. Maura's tears didn't cease and she simply stayed on top of Jane, her head on Jane's chest. Jane was speechless and all she could do was hold Maura and share the silence with her. Jane began to stroke Maura's hair and she ran her fingers along her arm. Eventually Maura's sobbing relaxed and she was able to breathe normally, her heart matching the rhythm of Jane's. Jane placed kisses on Maura's forehead and cheeks every so often. And the two women remained with more than their bodies intertwined.

Maura fell asleep and naturally rolled off of Jane. Jane stood up and went to look for a pen and some paper. She scribbled messages for Maura on some of the notes and made a trail of them leading to the kitchen. She hoped that Maura would believe the things that she was writing.

Jane was hoping that Maura would have something in her fridge that was from this planet that Jane could turn into an edible meal. Jane had never cooked for anyone before, everyone believing that it was beyond her, but when she was alone with TJ, she would always cook up lovely meals and pretend that Maura was there, it made her feel like they were a family. She grabbed some eggs and the necessary ingredients for some pretty awesome omelettes. As Jane was cooking and the smells were wafting over to Maura she couldn't help but think about everything that Maura had told her. It broke her heart. And she needed to find a way to make Maura see what she saw every time she looked at her.

Maura opened her eyes and reached around for Jane. But she wasn't there. She stood up and looked around; Jane had taken the sheet off the bed and placed it on top of her. She smiled. On the floor next to her she noticed a small note with Jane's hand writing. She anticipated that Jane had to go home and prepared herself for the disappointment that she would feel. But instead she read:

_Good morning beautiful_

And there was an arrow pointing towards the next note. She walked over to it and picked it up.

_You looked so peaceful; I didn't want to wake you_

Maura laughed as she noticed that Jane didn't take into account the appropriate distance she would need for how many notes she had written; there was a line of notes from her bedroom to the end of the hallway. The next note:

_Maura Isles, your smile is the most wonderful thing I have ever seen_

And the next one:

_Your hands make me feel safer than anything in the world_

Maura began to feel warm and loved and her stomach filled with butterflies. She smiled at the thought of Jane.

_When you look at me my knees buckle and my heart skips a beat_

She noticed the smell of something cooking in the kitchen and smiled at the fact that Jane was still with her.

_Your eyes…_

Maura frowned and looked for the rest of the sentence, or the next note, but she couldn't find either.

She reached the stairs and she couldn't help but smile because she saw a flower and underneath it was the final note.

_I didn't know what to say about your eyes Maur. There was nothing I could think of that truly captured the feeling or the beauty of your eyes. But I will tell you this; I could look into your eyes for the rest of my life and find something new in them every day that makes my heart beat faster and makes me smile for no apparent reason. You are an extraordinary person and there is no one that I would rather wake up next to in the morning or make breakfast for. It seems to me that you are a rare and priceless work of art and that I have fallen in love with a masterpiece. And if perfection did in fact exist, you would be it._

_I love you Maur._

_P.S. I am really hungry, hurry up and get your beautiful butt down to breakfast._

Maura laughed at Jane's inability to ignore her appetite and quickly made her way down the stairs and to the kitchen. As she rounded the corner she couldn't help but smile at what she saw. Jane had made them both omelettes and had taken the time to make Maura a 'proper' cup of coffee. Jane turned and saw Maura staring at the food. She moved to Maura in two strides and wrapped her up in her arms, placing a gentle kiss on her lips and running her hands up her back and into her hair. They pulled away and Maura took Jane's hand and looked her in the eyes.

"You are wonderful Jane. And I love you."

Jane smiled and felt her heart flutter. She didn't let go of Maura's hand and led her to her breakfast. Both women sat down and ate breakfast in silence, only enjoying the perfection of each other's company. The events of the previous night still raw in both of them, but not enough to overshadow the wonderfully perfect morning that Jane had created for the woman she loved.


End file.
